Alligator Snapping Turtle

Yesterday we were returning from a business lunch and saw a large turtle crossing the road in the business park. This is a common occurrence in Orlando and, when possible, there are many people who stop to help the turtle get out of the road – rather than waiting to see it smashed into a pancake. In Florida there are a number of types of turtles that easily grow up to a foot or more in diameter. It is not uncommon to find a 20 or 30 year-old turtle in the road about to be demolished.

The common procedure is to stop in front of the turtle, turn on your emergency flashers, and get out of the car. Then you give the turtle a nudge with your foot and most of them will retreat into their shells. You can then push them to the curb and lift them over. Then you just wait for the turtle to emerge and heard it back into the woods. Simple, safe, and rewarding.

We did all of this for yesterday’s turtle as well. But when we got out of the car, I noticed that this turtle had a six-inch tail that had upright scales running across the top like a dinosaur. This was the first clue that it was not an ordinary turtle. When we got closer we could see that the turtle had an extremely heavy shell, armored legs, a triangular head, and a mouth shaped like a parrot’s beak. Second clue. This was not a nice docile turtle, it was an alligator snapping turtle. These animals are tough, mean, and disease carrying (don’t touch them). They act a lot like an alligator that lives in a shell.

In spite of this the rescue mission carried on. I nudged the turtle with my dress shoe to get him to close up. But, alligator snapping turtles to not retreat from a threat like this. Instead, this 18-inch long turtle (perhaps 20 pounds), shot out its neck opened its jaws, hissed like a snake, and started jumping toward me. This is where the rescuers jumped back in surprise and fright. Hmmm … maybe this turtle will have to get smashed. So we got a long stick and a small army shovel out of my truck and tried to push him around with these. This provoked even more vicious attacks. This is one tough turtle. As we circled around behind him he turned to keep his attacking face toward us. He snapped at the three-foot dowel stick like an alligator and bit down one time.

By this time several cars had slowed down to watch the show before moving on. I got around behind him and used the dowel stick to push him to the curb, while he hissed, jumped, and threatened us the whole time. Seth tried to use the shovel to scoop him up and lift him over the curb. The turtle was so aggressive that he would not stay on the shovel. Our close proximity also gave us a good whiff of his odor. This turtle stunk like a sewer. The top of his shell was not clean and smooth. It was rough like an alligator’s back and covered with moss and black slime.

Finally, Seth was able to get the shovel under him and flip him unceremoniously up and over he curb. We had figured out that we did not have to be quite so gentle, this was one tough turtle. Once in the grass the turtle stood up a good two inches and walked briskly back into the swamp from which he had come. Rescue accomplished.

Don’t mess with alligator snapping turtles. They are really an alligator that is mad for being trapped in a turtle’s body.